Exorcism on demand
An army of specialists is growing at your local Catholic church
Humans have been battling demons since, well, forever. I'm not talking about your run-of-the-mill bad habits, serious psychiatric diagnoses, or past trauma. I'm talking spirit-possessing, slime-dripping, foul-mouthed demons from the lava lagoons of hell.
Now, an army of specialists trained to fight those demons is growing. Today, if a demon is possessing you, an exorcist is literally a phone call away. Catholic dioceses across the country are reportedly receiving a growing number of calls for help and shoring up the resources to respond.
The Roman Catholic Diocese of Washington offers this expertise:
Like many dioceses, it offers exorcism services to expel evil spirits.
For DIY-ers, there's an online resource called "What to do if you have demons."
And yes, there's an app for that.
The diocese's chief exorcist, Monsignor Stephen Rossetti, has written a book about his experience, Diary of an American Exorcist. Keep up with the latest on Monsignor Rossetti's blog, Diary of an Exorcist.
The Catholic Diocese of Arlington has similar resources.
The Archdiocese of Toronto is ready to assist.
The Archdiocese of Chicago website provides this form for you to put in a request. You will need to answer the question: "Do you believe you are under attack by the devil? _Yes _No"
The exorcist of the Archdiocese of Indianapolis, Father Vincent Lampert, recently published a book, Exorcism: The Battle Against Satan and His Demons, about his experiences. He talks about his more than 20 years on the job on this podcast.
Overseas, the Catholic Diocese of Milan made a splash in international media in 2012 when it set up an exorcism hotline. (I haven't been able to confirm if this is still going strong.) The reason? Demand was up.
Russell Crowe in The Pope’s Exorcist (image courtesy IMDB)
It's a trend
Writing in The Atlantic, Mike Mariani finds:
"The Church has been training new exorcists in Chicago, Rome, and Manila. ...In 2011 the U.S. had fewer than 15 known Catholic exorcists. Today...there are well over 100."
What's more:
"...the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops had Exorcisms and Related Supplications—a handbook containing the rite of exorcism—translated into English. The rite had been updated in 1998 and again a few years later, but this was the first time it was issued in English since it had been standardized in 1614." (emphasis mine)
What's going on?
The reason for the growing interest in exorcism may lie partly in a rise in the belief in demons and devils. The Atlantic's Mariani reports that:
"Polls conducted in recent decades by Gallup and the data firm YouGov suggest that roughly half of Americans believe demonic possession is real. The percentage who believe in the devil is even higher, and in fact has been growing: Gallup polls show that the number rose from 55 percent in 1990 to 70 percent in 2007."
That, says Mariani, would reflect the wishes of the Pope, that we regard the devil, hell, and demons as real as any bodily threat:
"In sermons, interviews, and occasionally in tweets, Pope Francis has declared that Satan—whom he has referred to as Beelzebub, the Seducer, and the Great Dragon—is a literal being devoted to deceiving and debasing humans."
Another contributing factor, says Mary Elizabeth Williams, a senior writer for Salon, may be our collective:
"...modern, western longing for alternative healing and for quick fixes. What if emotional distress could be expelled as decisively as a demon thrown back into the lake of fire?"
Sign me up!
But, she continues:
"...exorcism, it should be noted, is not some spiritual form of Ozempic."
That's because, she reports, some may want an exorcism to banish a demon or the devil but neglect the opportunity invite God into their lives and grow their faith, perhaps as a kind of inoculation against a future possession.
(Remind me to Google "spiritual form of Ozempic.” Can someone write me a prescription?)
So how do you go about getting exorcised?
When I suggested an exorcism was just a phone call away, I wasn't being facetious. But priests must decide whether you're actually a candidate for an exorcism. Petitioners must demonstrate the need and may have to undergo a psychological examination.
If the exorcist—a priest specially trained in the rites—decides you're a candidate, here's what happens, thanks to this FAQ from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. A few highlights:
Exorcism involves prayers and actions (including, in one instance, blowing in the face of the afflicted).
Sometimes priests address God directly to request "liberation." Sometimes they speak directly to the demon, commanding it to get lost.
There are minor and major exorcisms. Minor exorcisms are for people who are under attack by demons or the devil. Major exorcisms are for people who are believed to be possessed, or taken over, by a demon or the devil.
If I'm being honest...
My first reaction when researching this post was bemused condescension. I thought: Demonic possession is not real. It's a comforting explanation for feeling like hell. It's as real as the special effects behind movies like The Pope's Exorcist or The Exorcist.
But my old college days of cultural anthropology came rushing back. Many cultures believe in some form of possession, and I would never discount the experience of someone from another culture who believed they had been possessed and then helped by a spiritual guide of some sort. So why would I save my disdain for American Catholics?
I would never discount the experience of someone from another culture who believed they had been possessed and then helped by a spiritual guide of some sort. So why would I save my disdain for American Catholics?
I realized that I am more prejudiced against the practice here because we're not supposed to believe in that stuff. That may be a kind of racism or a belief in cultural superiority (which I do not believe), because it suggests other people can believe in that stuff. So, I own it. I'm examining it. Who am I to doubt a person's inner experience? I can doubt there are demons and devils. I can doubt that exorcism has any real power. But if someone believes they are possessed by the devil and an exorcism helps them feel better, that is a magic bullet.
But I'm glad someone is standing by to take my call, just in case.